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This is probably one of the most asked questions among professional coaches.
I’ll tell you right away that there’s really no clear answer regarding how to measure success at work in our industry. And the reason is that it leads to so many other important questions: What kinds of metrics should I use? How do you define success? Who decides how to measure success at work? When should I measure?
I think you see how complicated such a simple question can become. But as professionals striving to improve, it’s still important to at least attempt at answering it - so that you know where you stand in the market.
To help, I’ll share with you four metrics I’ve developed with my coaches over the years:
- Number of clients who want to work with you
- Your hourly rate
- Client satisfaction surveys from your corporate customers
- How selective you can be when taking on new business
Naturally, this is not an exhaustive list and you might not agree with some of the items. Again, I am sharing the big four that have proven over the years to be a pretty good indicator of a successful coaching practice.
In addition to these metrics, it’s important to listen to your clients. For example, if you often hear the following, your practice is probably quite healthy:
“I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“You really helped my friend.”
“You were warmly recommended.”
So you’re probably thinking: Why do I need the other metrics if my client has already told me how good I am?
It’s very simple. Your client can shower you with a lot of praise, but if they aren’t active partners in their journey, then it’s going to reflect poorly on your practice as a whole.
This brings me to another issue, which is related to #4 above. If, at any stage during intake or working with your client, you feel that your client isn’t cooperating, you need to bring this up as swiftly as possible.
There’s nothing worse in a coach-client relationship than a sinking ship on which you’re both aboard. Such a situation will leave your client frustrated and your coaching practice with a bad name.
So obviously, the best thing to do is to filter out any potential sinking ship scenarios during the intake process.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Understand your client’s expectations and consider whether they are indeed attainable.
2. Define the requirements for reaching the client’s goals (e.g., time, resources).
3. Explain the coaching process as realistically as possible, emphasizing that there’s no such thing as a “magic pill” - any meaningful change is going to take time and patience.
4. Ensure that the client is adequately motivated to do what needs to be done.
If you’re satisfied with this process, you have the makings of a productive coach-client relationship.
In a world that promises just about anything you can think of instantly - where everyone is chasing the newest and the shiniest - we must remain professional. Maintaining an honest relationship with your clients is the true secret to running a successful coaching practice.
And always remember:
Several years into my career, when I was already sought after by managers from many of the top companies in the industry, I began to realize that success has a price - even given the executive coaching rates I was being paid. As my practice increased, so did the variety of critical incidents and dilemmas I had to help my clients navigate. Dedicated to provide my clients with the best coaching possible, I knew that I myself needed guidance. There’s the old expression “The shoemaker’s children go barefoot.” Well, at the time, I was the shoemaker herself going barefoot.
How many of you have felt “barefoot” - mired in a dilemma, an unanswered question, uncertainty - yearning for guidance? And the irony is that experts, such as ourselves, are generally hesitant to consult with others professionally. After all, if we’re the experts, why do we need help? And if we do, maybe we’re not as professional as we thought.
Luckily, when I realized that I needed help, I swallowed my pride and called Sandra, a well-respected colleague. When I told Sandra that I wanted her to be my mentor, she thought I was kidding.
“You’re one of the top executive coaches I know with some of the highest executive coaching rates. What could I possibly do to help you?” she responded.
I told her, “Thanks so much for the compliment, Sandra, but because I intend to remain professional, I know that I need a mentor.”
“Yes, I see what you mean, Etika. I myself did call you on several occasions to get your take on some of my own sessions with clients,” she recalled.
“And you were pleased to get a fresh perspective, right?” I’d convinced her.
“I tell you what,” I said. “Let’s keep this informal. When I feel I need a sounding board or a different way of tackling an issue, I’ll call you. If you can speak, great. If not, we’ll set a phone appointment for when it’s convenient for you. A deal?”
Sandra answered, “A deal. But as long as I can do the same!”
We had made a pact to keep each other as professional as possible.
As the years passed, other executive coaches joined our little group, where we created a space to discuss our clients, strategies, and challenges. And there’s no doubt that this group prevented me from becoming worn out both emotionally and physically. I would even go as far as to say that in our profession, tapping into different perspectives is not a luxury - it’s a must.
With social media today, communicating with other executive coaches is as easy as opening Facebook and joining a group. This is an excellent way to gain different perspectives and share dilemmas.
However, if you want to ensure you’re developing, it’s important to go beyond Facebook groups. For example, there are well-researched online courses developed by professionals that can help expand your horizons and thus your practice. With so much variety, it’s important that you choose which one fits your niche and the way you prefer to work.
And if you don’t yet have a well-defined niche, then a good online course is a very effective way to help you specialize in some very lucrative areas.
Whichever you choose, an expert around the corner or the empowerment of online learning, no executive coach is an island. When you finally embrace this, it will work for you and lead you to success.
And always remember:
Climbing the stairs up to Etika’s office, Melanie was trying to figure out why a successful marketing manager like herself needed coaching. Her results so far in her career had been spectacular. She thought, “Am I not a dream player? Why am I being sent to coaching - and why is my boss hinting that my career depends on it?”
When her boss had mentioned coaching in the past, she used to laugh to herself, thinking he couldn’t be serious. Melanie wasn’t about to waste valuable time sitting around with a coach who didn’t understand her job. She did, though, take her boss seriously. One Friday, she stopped by a local bookstore to pick up a few best sellers in career advancement solutions. “After all, these multi-million dollar authors must know a thing or two,” she reasoned. “All I need to do is emulate their successful behavior.”
Rushing home, Melanie spent the weekend absorbing book after book, followed by binge listening to dozens of podcast episodes of various career advancement solutions. She meticulously noted the qualities and behaviors of successful managers. Starting the following Monday, she tried her best to implement everything she’d learned. She was going to make this work.
But surprisingly, Melanie’s manager felt differently. He acknowledged her recent, concerted effort to improve, but insisted that without coaching, Melanie would have no future.
So here she was, about to meet her coach for the first time. Confused, Melanie finally reached the top of the stairs and knocked on the door to Etika’s office. The door opened and Etika warmly greeted Melanie, offering her a seat. After a bit of small talk, Melanie proudly told Etika about all of the self-learning she had been engaged with recently.
She reached in her bag and took out a handwritten list of 100 habits of the world’s top managers that she had compiled over the last month. And she told Etika that she’d been making every effort to follow this list to the letter.
However, Melanie disappointingly admitted that her boss had not seen any improvement in her performance.
Etika, of course, wasn’t surprised. She’d coached many “Melanies” during her four decade career - very ambitious managers looking for the “magic formula” for success.
Etika explained to Melanie that it’s nearly impossible to assume someone else’s habits in a bid to improve. “Unfortunately,” Etika lamented, “This is exactly what many management books and podcasts ask us to do.”
Melanie was confused. “But if you don’t emulate a successful role model, how can you improve?” she argued.
“By NOT emulating,” Etika emphasized. “Instead, you need to concentrate on minimizing the particular habits that are keeping you, personally, from growing, so that you can nurture your potential.”
“Habits? Potential?” Melanie was confused.
Etika gave her the example of a manager who prioritizes a company’s procedures over the bottom line. While sticking to procedures might be important, if it lead to a loss in the company’s income, then the procedures should be changed.
But a manager who is procedure-oriented might not realize this, especially if they haven’t let their innate sense of prioritizing the bottom line develop.
By concentrating on procedures, they’ve been neglecting other ways of thinking that are important for becoming a well-rounded manager. And without “giving room” to alternative ways, managers remain stuck.
“Melanie, I don’t know which of your hidden habits haven’t had a chance to develop, but what I do know is that they’re inside you, ready to be grown and nurtured,” Etika explained. “And no cookie-cutter management guide is going to help you with that,” she continued.
Melanie looked down to consider Etika’s words and then faced her, responding, “OK, Etika, you’ve convinced me to part with my checklist. I’m ready to discover my potential. Let’s get started.”
How can you discover your innate potential? How will doing so help increase your performance?
And always remember:
“This can’t be happening again,” Jane thought to herself as she closed the door on her way out of her boss’s office, trying to hold back her tears. She had just been rejected for the VP Finance position she thought she’d finally had in the bag. And, after all, wasn’t this the natural corporate development career path?
What really upset Jane was that she had applied for this position with the same result just a year ago, when the company unwisely took on an outside hire who ended up never fitting in. Jane was convinced that this time around, her boss would realize that she, who had “grown up” in the company, would be the best fit.
Instead of planning to celebrate a promotion, she shuffled back to her office in a near state of shock - so much for corporate development career path.
When she closed the door behind her, she suddenly had a flashback of discussing her frustrations with Rick, her close friend and co-worker, the last time she was rejected. She had complained to Rick that someone from the outside had gotten the job and told him to mark her words that the company would be sorry they hadn’t hired her.
During her complaining, Rick had mentioned that she might want to get some coaching to better prepare her for her next opportunity. He had even brought up the name of a veteran career and leadership coach he’d heard great things about. Convinced that being passed up for the promotion had nothing to do with her qualifications and abilities, she had scuffed off Rick’s advice.
Reflecting on this now, she realized that Rick might’ve been right. “Now, what was the name of that coach?” she thought.
At about 7 pm the following evening, Jane walked up the stairs leading to my office. When she entered the office, she was slightly taken aback - suddenly finding herself surrounded by what seemed like dozens of mirrors - just like at a house of mirrors.
Trying to find her way to let me know that she had arrived, Jane peered into one mirror, then another, and so on, realizing that each mirror revealed a slightly different image of herself. When she managed to reach me, Jane asked about the strange entrance to my office.
Rather than answering Jane straight away, I asked her to think about the reason for the mirrors. Jane said that she wasn’t sure, so I helped by asking her why each mirror reflects a slightly different image. Jane, still upset from being turned down from her promotion, was distracted and clueless.
Patiently, I told her to compare these mirrors to all of the people whom she works with - colleagues, subordinates, and bosses. As each mirror sees Jane differently, so do each of those at work. Moreover, they see Jane differently from the way she sees herself.
Jane began to show interest in what I had to say, but then became anxious: “If everyone sees me differently, then how in the world can I influence how I’m perceived?
I smiled, as I knew that Jane had just begun an important process. I explained to Jane that if we can somehow acquire the ability to see us as others do, then we know what needs to be worked on.
“After all, we don’t promote ourselves at work, do we”?
“Our climb up the career ladder is dependent on how others view us”.
Jane pondered what I said, realizing that the first promotion she’d missed had nothing to do with the boss’s bad decision making. It was her “reflection” that needed help.
“So where do we go from here?” Jane asked.
“We need to find out what are called the ‘dominant behaviors’ you have that might be holding you back from reaching your potential. This will require an analysis of almost every aspect of your professional behavior. Once we know which dominant behaviors to ‘put on hold,’ you’ll find yourself growing your potential and eventually ready for promotion.”
This was a lot to take in for Jane, but she was ready to begin the journey...
What dominant habits are holding you back from promotion?
What kinds of innate potential habits do you have that you might not be developing?
And always remember:
If you’ve ever been rejected for a promotion you will understand that it is a difficult thing to process. Regardless of the reasons given you are going to go through a whole raft of emotions, and one idea that will begin to germinate in your mind is whether you should leave.
While assessing the factors affecting career development it is important that you don’t react too quickly. Within a few days or perhaps weeks of not getting the promotion you may certainly feel like storming out and never returning. This is never a good idea.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t plan on leaving if you have weighed up your options properly. What I am saying is that you shouldn’t leave as a knee-jerk, emotional response. Decisions based on emotions are should never be included in the factors affecting career development.
You may have been with this company for a number of years, but in truth you’ve never really fitted in. Sure, you are great at your job because you meet your sales targets, and you are a supportive and admired leader of your team. However, there may be other factors your company are interested in which they hold highly when considering anyone for promotion.
Perhaps your company has a great sporting ethos, for example. Do your peers participate in weekly sporting events together like basketball or baseball? Are they keen on winning medals and championing their own sporting prowess? Regardless, you may not be the sporting type. Sure, you like walking the dog and going to the gym, but not everyone enjoys team sports.
And, more importantly these sporting events happen out of working hours and you have other commitments. You may have a young family or you would rather wander through art galleries in your spare time – or both! These activities don’t affect your ability to do your job really well, but they do affect your likelihood of a promotion if the company you work for places a high value on them.
If these scenarios sound familiar then perhaps you simply don’t fit in. If you try to be like your co-workers, but it goes against the grain, then you will just end up becoming frustrated with both yourself and the company.
If this is the case then you should find a company where extracurricular activities are not part of the criteria for promotion or are ones that suit your individuality. After all, if you were bad at sports you aren’t going to be much use anyway, and this will affect the way your team sees you. If they begin to lose respect for you on the sporting field, this may come out in the workplace, and you’d be better off leaving all together.
Some companies base a candidate’s viability for promotion on goals and targets only. Sure, these are an important part of your job, but so are your other skills too.
You have developed a good understanding of how the company works from top to bottom. You know how the logistics side of things operates, how data is collected and used, and you have been updating your own skills and expertise by doing online courses in your own time.
However, if you’ve been told that the only way you’ll get a promotion is to reach a target that you feel is unreachable and unreasonable then perhaps it is time to look for a different job.
You may ask for an increase in your budget to reach these goals, but you may not get it. This is sure indication that your company is either setting the promotion bar too high or the senior managers have lost touch with what’s really going on beneath them. In either case, do you really want to stay?
At this point in your career it is imperative that you analyze your specific situation. You need a clear head so don’t do this just after you haven’t got the promotion you so wanted. Make sure you are feeling emotional stable, and you’re not overreacting.
Create a list of pros and cons about your current position, and see if these give you more clarity. You could also start interviewing other companies to see which one might be a better fit for you. After a lot of soul searching if you still believe that leaving your current company will not increase your chances of being promoted, then by all means, begin making the move now.
And always remember:
When is it time to leave your job? Most people never think of leaving their position until the day comes and they are rejected for a promotion they thought they deserved.
When this happens many middle managers are so devastated they allow their emotions to take over and they end up leaving their current position. Resigning based on negative emotions is never a good idea, but it is one of the factors affecting career development that has an aversive effect on careers.
Allowing your emotions to cloud your judgement will only lead to further disappointment and a slowing of your career advancement. There are good and bad factors affecting career development, and it is important that you put aside the bad ones, then utilize the good ones for your own advancement.
Knowing when to leave your job is never a walk in the park. It is always going to be emotional. Let’s face it, starting a new job isn’t easy and sometimes it isn’t practical. More often than not, managers stay where they are because changing jobs is just too hard. They give up hope of a tempting career advancement and wrongly accept they are not good enough to sit in the corner office.
Having said that, there may be reasons why you should consider leaving your current job. These should never be considered when in the emotional turmoil of disappointment and rejection, though. They should be fully considered once you understand the reasons completely.
Let’s check them out…
You sit down with your boss and you are being told why you didn’t get the promotion, and you are surprised to learn it is because you don’t socialize with your team well enough. Now, this is an expectation you may not have realized affected your chances of a promotion, but it does.
Some companies not only support but encourage their staff to meet after work or on weekends. This doesn’t mean long drinking sessions necessarily, but this can happen. It may mean engaging in a sport or hobby together like basketball or soccer. Your company may expect your team to help clean up the environment on the weekends.
Perhaps these things are not your cup of tea and you would rather spend time with your family or your friends. While keeping fit is important, and no one can deny that looking after the environment is crucial, so is your work / life balance. Doing things away from the people you spend most of your time with is important for your well-being. You need your space and your free time should be yours to do with as you please.
All companies have goals which are an integral part of the company’s success. These usually pertain to sales goals, obtaining new clients or lowering costs. However, if you have been told that to get the next promotion you have to increase productivity by 20%, for example, and this is near impossible then it is time to say goodbye.
Sure, the increase might be achievable if you could expand your team and bring in new members. It might not be impossible if your budget was increased or if you were given more time, but what if these things weren’t supplied? What if you were expected to meet these remarkable targets with what you have now, and it is on possible?
It’s at this point that you realize that a promotion will never happen for you under these current circumstances. If this is case then it is time to find a new position where you’re provided with the appropriate resources to meet your goals, where you are appreciated for what you can offer, and valued as an important member of the team.
Leaving your current position because you are angry and frustrated is not good enough. However, if you have analyzed your specific situation without any emotion then it might be time to move on. You may actually find leaving your current company will increase your chances of being promoted and give your career the much needed boost it deserves.
And always remember:
Not getting the promotion you thought you had in the bag was devastating. You worked so hard preparing your resume, researching what was needed to fulfil the position, and simply working and planning your career, but that tempting career advancement wasn’t to be yours.
When you were told that you didn’t get the promotion you went through a whole gamut of emotions. You experienced disappointment, frustration, anger and even grief – yes, grief. You lost something that you had all your hopes of a tempting career advancement based on and now the empty void is actually scary.
No doubt you are going to have a lot of questions as to why you didn’t get the promotion. You know that you deliver great results. You also receive lots of pats on the back for your great work. You believe you are appreciated by everyone above and below you. People have told you that you have a natural talent, and you honestly believed that your seniors were hinting that the next promotion was yours.
Despite all of these great things you didn’t get the promotion- what’s that about? In this situation most managers aren’t able to overcome their disappointment, and while it is understandable that you may want to leave your position, you need to realize that this may result in damaging your career.
The alternative is to accept that you are not good enough, and make so with where your career is now. It doesn’t have to be like this. Don’t put your career dreams in a drawer and shut it forever. Don’t push aside your desires for career advancement and think you are not good enough.
Only some great managers learn how to bounce back from bitter disappointment, and use it as an advantage, are you one of them? It certainly isn’t easy and it takes a whole lot of courage. However if you are willing to put in the time to plan, review, and research your next move, the add to that a whole lot of understanding, you will become a much better manager – one that will be looked for when the next promotion opportunity arises.
The first thing you need to understand is that being great at your current job doesn’t mean you will be automatically promoted. In truth, the more you advance, the harder it will be to develop the kinds of qualities you’ll need for that next promotion.
You may be so good at your job your boss may not want to lose you. I come across managers in this situation all the time. You’ll need to make sure that you are not the only one doing a great job on your team. Train someone else to be as good as you, and look at that person as your possible replacement when you are promoted.
As well, one thing you need to understand is that no matter where you are in your career, you have to keep developing your skills and building on your experience. This means that you will be better prepared to handle the challenges a senior position will demand of you.
Do you understand how others see you now? Do they really see a potential senior manager in the making or you, doing what you always do, and doing it well?
Being able to step back and see your failings isn’t easy. It takes a certain kind of courage and perseverance. No one is good at this from the start because it is a much needed skill that not many of us have naturally, nor is it trained.
However, if you want to know how to become a senior manager you have to start behaving like one now. Learn what skills and experience this position entails and start practicing them. Make sure that your boss sees you making improvements, too.
And always remember:
Let’s face it, there are many factors affecting career development which need to considered before you up and leave your job, but are you addressing them or ignoring them?
Think back to when you first started. Did you wake up each morning excited and enthusiastic? Did you worry that you were going to be late because you didn’t want to disappoint your boss? Did get that strange tingling sensation when you sat at your desk, a nervous kind of joy stemming from not knowing what the day would bring, but looking forward to it anyway?
Have these feelings gone away? Are there new and disturbing factors affecting career development which are now hampering your promotion goals?
The truth is if you're not doing what you are passionate about, you are not going to reach your true potential. You will fall into the daily grind and your career path will crumble before you. In reality, your career will simply become ‘just a job’, and you’ll become restless and bored.
Perhaps you need a shake up to renew your love of what you are doing, and the only way to do that is look for a new position.
However, just being bored is not a good enough reason to change companies. Remember that you have worked hard to get to where you are now, and that changing jobs brings a whole new set of issues you might not be prepared for.
So, how can you judge whether it is time to leave? Let’s take a look at your position as a whole. That way you can judge for yourself and make the right decision for your career. Are any of the following an issue for you?
Look around you. How well do you know the people you work with? Do you have problems connecting with them? If you really dislike the people you work with you could try to work out the problems you’re having with them, but remember it takes two to tango and you could be wasting your time.
Not getting along with your work colleagues will leave you feeling isolated and vulnerable. Not many people work well in this kind of atmosphere. You need to be in an environment where you are appreciated and valued.
If you believe there are ethical issues in the way the company operates, as well as cultural differences, or other issues such as work ethics that you can’t ignore, then you probably don’t fit in.
You have your standards and you should stick to them. If you thought you could do your job properly, and not have to worry about the moral differences between you and the company then you are sadly mistaken. It is important to work for a company where your ethical and moral values are the same.
We all need down time to relax and spend time with friends and family, no person can live happily cut off. Also, you may have a hobby you are passionate about, but you don’t have time to pursue it.
If your work-life balance is one sided and you are spending too much time at work, and no one at work cares then you may need to find a new position.
If you feel you are not getting rewarded for your efforts then no one is going to blame you for becoming disgruntled. You may have missed out on promotions you thought you were a shoe-in for. Also, your duties may have changed or your workload increased, and you are still on the same wage.
Many companies work hard to save money and stay within budget, and that’s great because that’s what a successful company does to stay afloat, but if your team have been moved and downsized, and your work conditions haven’t improved then morale will sag.
If the company is performing well, but this is not reflected in your salary or other rewards then you have every right to be restless.
If any of these points have raised doubts then you need to consider changing companies. However, before you rush into your boss’ office and resign take a deep breath. What goals do you need to put into place before you can move on? Take a thorough look at what your career should look like. Consider responsibilities, company culture, compensation, and the benefits you consider worthwhile.
Create a plan with measurable goals and a realistic timeline, and then start looking for that new position which is going to reignite your passion.
And always remember:
To understand how to get that promotion you want so badly, and you deserve, you are going to have to learn that changing your mind might be the best way to advance your career. Let’s face it, the factors affecting career development are many and varied, and because you are dedicated to your own success it is imperative that you understand this.
In truth, you must know what success looks like. Once you have a clear idea you can compare your current situation and see if it is a good match. When setting down the factors affecting career development make a list of what you want.
Do you want to earn more money? Well, that’s a no brainer! Do you want greater prestige? Who doesn’t! Do you want better benefits for yourself and your family? Of course you do! And would you like to make a greater impact on the company’s bottom line? That’s a given too.
So, now that you know what you want it is important to define these factors in order of their importance to you; and not anyone else. Sit back now and close your eyes. Visualize what your future looks like once you have achieved your present day goals.
When you begin to ‘see’ what a successful career looks like, you can objectively look at the options you have in front of you now. This will help you see the choices in a much clearer light. Some will seem positive, and others not. Many may be in doubt for the time being, and that’s okay too.
Once you understand what success means to you and what your future will look like you have to start making decisions. Some of these may mean you will have to change your mind.
Now, look around at your company and be honest with yourself. Is this the place that you visualized? Can the company you work for now really help you achieve your future goals? Is this the place where your dreams are likely to be realized?
The answer these questions might be ‘no’, but you made a decision to work at this company for whatever reason and you don’t want to change your mind.
You are proud of your high level of commitment and dedication, and so you should be. Changing your mind and going back on your decisions doesn’t seem right, or does it?
However, you’ve been at this company for a few years, and you are still stuck in the same position. Regardless of your dedication and commitment to your career you still haven’t got the promotion you wanted. So the big question is, if you were offered an opportunity at another company would you try your luck?
Did you know that science doesn’t agree with you? Does that surprise you? The statistics say you’re more likely to find success at a new job rather than staying in the one place.
If you sit back and think you’ve made your decisions and you have to stick to it, then you are making the wrong decision, and here’s why.
You really don’t know what the right answer is and this can be scary. However, if you decide to change your mind and make the leap you may find it is the best thing for your career.
In this case, it is not a good idea to go with your gut instinct. I know that’s what we are told over and over again, but if your instinct is telling you to stay put, then it could be doing you a major disservice.
But switching is hard, isn’t it? How will you know you are making the right choice? It hurts less when you change your mind and get it wrong than it does when you stick to your guns and get it wrong, trust me.
This is because changing your mind and getting it wrong leads to more of a funny thing called “counterfactual thinking.” When you don’t do anything and still everything goes wrong you end up beating yourself up for not trying and making the change. You will certainly be angry with yourself for not showing the initiative needed to further your career.
Sure others you leave behind will get promoted, but if you decide what success looks like for you and you realize that it’s not going to happen where you are now, then it is time to change those decisions and take a leap of faith in yourself.
And always remember:
As hard as you try, and perhaps deserve, things didn’t go to plan and you didn’t get the promotion you so desperately wanted. You applied in good faith, you did your research, and you prepared as thoroughly as you thought you needed to, but this time it wasn’t yours.
You thought you knew how to measure success at work, and you thought you had it all figured out, but now you are back at your old desk in the same situation you have been in for a while. This is a tough situation to find yourself in and it is difficult to accept, but it happens to us all.
How to measure success at work now that this has happened can be tricky too. You might be asking yourself, how did this happen? What do I do now? Should I stay? Should I leave? What’s the best decision to make at this time?
Worse still, you now have to face your team feeling deflated and maybe even embarrassed. So, what’s the best approach?
Are You a Loser?
Of course you are not a loser. You got this far in your position, right? Your team respected you before you applied for the promotion, and they will afterwards especially if you behave in a reasonable and calm manner. If any of your team didn’t respect you before it’s not going to make much difference because they wouldn’t even if you had got it. Stop worrying about what others think as many of these notions of being a loser or not good enough are fabricated in our own minds.
Perhaps your team will admire your ‘get up and go’ attitude. Perhaps they will respect that you at least tried and put yourself out there. Perhaps they will even see that you aren’t going to give up, and can look up to you.
Now, don’t go rushing in to a team meeting straight after you found out you didn’t get the job. Instead, give yourself a little space before you meet with your team. This will allow you to feel and act more like a winner. Time, as they say, heals all wounds and it takes time to step up and conquer those feelings of disappointment and embarrassment.
Believe That the Better Person Got the Job
Once the rumour mill has been active for a while and everyone knows you didn’t get the promotion, someone is bound to come up to you and elicit a reaction regarding being screwed over. Whether they have your best interests at heart or theirs is questionable,
so it is best to be prepared.
You have worked for the company long enough to know that most of the time operations are conducted with the utmost integrity and professionalism. This has always been the way and can be seen from the way each department is organized. So, deep down you know that the better person got the job; it might take a few days for you to accept it, but it is true.
If you look at your ‘failure’ as a learning moment, and see it in a more positive light you might realize that your senior managers are actually ensuring that you remain on the best career path for you. Sure, you would have loved that promotion but what if there was something bigger and better waiting for you around the corner. How do you feel now? Realizing this and communicating it to your team members is a great way of dissolving any nasty rumours and shows your maturity and foresight.
Let your team know that your company is working to ensure that the right opportunities are given to the right people.
On Reflection:
Give yourself some time to analyze what has happened. Clear your head and your heart of any negative emotions because they will only hold you back.
Face your team in a positive, but honest way and ensure that everyone is a winner in this situation. Then, hopefully, you will all be able to carry on with business as usual, and start planning for the next promotion opportunity.
And always remember:
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